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Financial Planning, September 1, 2002:
Sizing Up the Situation Financial advisers should know their own strengths and weaknesses when client meetings go awry. One secret of success is saving a meeting that appears to be headed for failure. When that happens, you must quickly size up the situation, assess the source of the problem and correct your course. In any one instance this circumstance is a surprise, but with a busy practice, it's bound to happen more than once. What the financial planner might notice:
Self-assessment. Before you can figure out the source of the difficulty, you must be aware of your typical reaction style when problems surface. "Internalizers" tend to blame themselves first. When things go wrong, they take responsibility for being the source of the problem and think the solution is to work harder. In contrast, those who "externalize" believe that the problem stems from something outside of themselves; therefore, the best way to fix the trouble is to change the situation or the other person. Both can be correct. Each situation is different, and the balance of "blame" shifts constantly. What you must realize, however, is that your own style can create blind spots that block you from seeing a solution. The internalizer may not notice something important about the client, while the externalizer may overlook his or her own contribution. It is useful to look at the situation from the opposite perspective. Patterns you couldn't see before can suddenly pop into focus. Communication assessment. Often, the source of the problem is in the match between adviser and client. If your communication styles are out of sync, it's harder to complete the task at hand, even when it's in everyone's best interest. If you tend to be warm and gregarious, you may find some clients "under" engage. They might seem monosyllabic and unresponsive. Your natural response to this might be talking more to smooth out the rough spots. If this is a correct intervention, you will see the clients relax. If they don't seem to improve, then you should downshift. Slow down your breathing, move more slowly and try to match their interaction rhythm. The clients may be over-stimulated by your style or the information. If so, once you are simpler and calmer, they can take in your advice At other times, you may be faced with clients who "over" engage. They may go on and on about their entire lives in a way that makes it difficult to process what is truly important to them. If you find that your attempts to help them focus on the financial work make things worse, chances are they have a different agenda. For them, talking may be a symptom of their anxiety. These individuals may need more support and an opportunity to build a trusting relationship before they can think clearly about money issues. Client assessment. What if the communication styles mesh, but nothing is happening? You make a suggestion, they seem eager to take it, but then they can't get to a decision point. If you find that two or three good solutions get discarded, frustration will set in. It might be that they aren't telling you outright that they don't want to proceed, or that something is distracting them. Perhaps they aren't ready. If so, backing off can save you both a lot of time. It's important to remember that the problem may have absolutely nothing to do with you, your business or their readiness to do business. They might have attention-deficit problems or some source of stress that is eclipsing their ability to make a decision. Don't be so thrown off by the stressful interaction that this possibility escapes you. The client may need extra help. Prematurely deciding that a tough interview is your fault or their fault can be a distraction from finding the way to an effective solution. Financial advisers can be empowered by knowing their own strengths and weaknesses in dealing with tricky situations. It can be useful to back up and look beyond the moment. You may want to mull over past tough interviews to see what patterns emerge. Have you found that your first impressions were correct and you overlooked them? Or did you tend to jump too quickly to conclusions when taking in more information would have been the best course of action? Sizing up a situation comes naturally over time. Often it's a matter of letting information you already know filter into your awareness. With experience you can pick up crucial information from nuances of your clients' behavior and make tiny course corrections before problems have the chance to surface. Carol M. Kauffman, Ph.D., and Marcia C. Brier are partners in Family Legacy Services, a consulting service to financial advisers, family offices and private client departments. They can be reached by e-mail via carol@CarolKauffman.com or MBrier@mcbcommunications.com. -Carol Kauffman and Marcia Brier
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