Carol Kauffman PhD: Family Legacy Services

Carol Kauffman PhD Small choices can change your life.
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FAMILY LEGACY SERVICES: Carol Kauffman and Marcia Brier

ETHICAL WILLS AND PERSONAL LEGACY STATEMENTS

80 million baby-boomers are moving through middle age and beyond. This generation has placed a high value on taking a stand on life and sharing what really matters. An ethical will or Personal Legacy Statement is a powerful way to accomplish this goal

Think of your great grandmother.

Did you know her?

Did you hear much about her?

Would you appreciate it if you could open up the family book and read what she had to say about her life and times?

I would.

My great grandmother is a blur. Mildred Gowdy was born in 1880. I have her photo and her favorite piece of furniture, a hand-honed pine secretary with the original glass. That's it. Thanks to my grandmother Dorothy's interest in genealogy, I can trace back who's who in my family for a couple hundred years. Other than a few pages of worn out newspaper clippings all I know is their names and dates they were born, married and died. The real linking of generations and sense of continuity is broken.

The time is right for this unnecessary loss to end. Time hurtles by, and as September 11 brought home so brutally, our lives are temporary. Ethical wills and Personal Legacy Statements are gifts we can offer our children, and their children, and theirs. A glimpse into our present that will one day be the past.

Sometimes our circumstances allow us to fully communicate our deepest love, desires and values to our loved ones. Sometimes they do not.

What is an Ethical Will or Personal Legacy Statement?

An Ethical or Personal Will can be whatever you choose. Those that place strong importance on their family and their family legacy an Ethical Will or Personal Legacy Statement is at the heart of what they can pass on.

A personal statement to your children and grandchildren about what has been most important to you.

A letter to your heirs expressing your feelings for them.

Your own life story for your immediate and long-term descendents.

Lessons, teaching of what you have learned and want to pass on.

Barry Baines describes it as the ancient tradition for passing on personal values, beliefs, blessings and advice to future generations. It is a vehicle of communication, and also for personal exploration. Writing an Ethical or Personal Will is a challenging and inspirational experience. It offers a unique opportunity to convey your deepest feelings and beliefs. It also requires you to articulate what is truly important. First for yourself, then for those you love. They have been used in many different ways through the years. In my own family we bring out the family book each year on the birthday of the oldest relative. We talk about those we know, and read about those too far away in time to reach.

Perhaps the most poignant story for me was the man who wrote a lengthy personal autobiography, then became ill and had terrible memory problems. For the last two weeks of his life, his children gathered around his bedside and took turns reading his book to him saying, " This is who you were Daddy. " Although his heirs are all millionaires, they treasure the personal connection offered by the generous act of writing his story just to them. >

Who gets to tell your story?

An Ethical Will or Personal Legacy Statement is a way for you to convey important intangible information to your family. While the legal will transfers the tangible wealth, it doesn't allow you to express yourself in any personal way. We don't put off writing our legal wills, why do we overlook or put off sharing our stories, thoughts and wisdom?

Inherent in the process is stepping back and looking at your life. And having recently completed a first draft of my own Personal Will, it isn't for the faint of heart. But taking that step back and trying to pour what is important to you down onto a piece of paper for those you love is a powerful experience. Like looking at a Serrault painting. When we look at the "dots" of our daily lives -- accomplishments and thoughts -- from a different perspective, patterns coalesce into forms we might have overlooked.

What we can offer:

Dr. Kauffman and Ms. Brier are available to consult with those interested in writing Ethical and Personal Legacy Statements.

A consultation would first involve helping you decide what services make sense.

Coaching sessions: For those of you who who want to write your own Ethical Will and/or Personal Narrative. If you are clear about what you want to say, but are challenged by the writing process we can offer specific writing coaching. Dr. Kauffman regularly works with personal and professional writers to facilitate the process of putting ideas and emotions into words and onto paper.

Consultation Sessions: For those of you who prefer more extensive contact in order to articulate and develop the ideas you wish to include in your Ethical Will or Personal Legacy Statement. This would entail face-to-face meetings to help you access what you would like to communicate to your heirs. We could then provide you with "snippets" to form the basis of your will, or we could draft an Ethical Will based on your wishes and in your language style.

Extended Family Ethical Wills: For those who prefer to have a network of Ethical Wills where individual documents are coordinated and bound into a family book.

Who We Are:

The principals of Family Legacy Services bring together skills in diverse areas. Both Dr. Kauffman and Ms. Brier are psychologically sophisticated individuals who have the capacity to apply their knowledge to the challenges of every day life. They are both highly effective communicators with energy, passion and expertise. Together they have talents that uniquely empower the individuals and groups with whom they work to access and articulate their hopes, visions and personal stories. Kauffman and Brier are regularly sought out as excellent speakers, listeners, coaches and consultants.

Dr. Carol Kauffman is a licensed clinical psychologist who has been in private practice for over twenty years. She is an Instructor at Harvard Medical School and an Associate Attending Psychologist at McLean Hospital. Through the years she has consulted frequently on issues related to inherited or sudden wealth. As a workshop leader and public speaker she helps her audiences access their inner strengths in order to lead richer lives and give their children a healthy psychological legacy. She has also lead symposia, workshops and round tables at the American Psychological Association and other professional organizations. Dr. Kauffman has been quoted in: The New York Times, The Boston Globe, Forbes, Psychology Today and the Readers Digest. She and Ms. Brier are the Behavioral Finance columnists Financial Planning Magazine.

Ms. Marcia Brier is a business consultant with over twenty years of experience. Her extensive background in the wealth management, legal and financial communities has enabled her to develop significant understanding of the issues and concerns of families using these services. She is the founder and principal of MCB Communications and MCB Consulting. She is a creative, proficient entrepreneur whose sound judgment and reliable performance has earned her the trust and respect of her peers and clients. She has co-authored numerous local and national articles on multidisciplinary approaches to wealth management and personal legacy statements. Ms. Brier has been quoted in: Wall Street Journal, Business Week, Forbes, Fortune, Trusts and Estates Magazine, Financial Planning Magazine and the Boston Globe.

Family Legacy Services has consulted to numerous private client departments, family wealth groups, estate planning departments and financial services firms, including Citigroup Private Bank, Bainco International Investors, Sagemark Consulting, YEO, The Bulfinch Group, Tarlow, Breed, Hart, Murphy & Rodgers, Bingham Dana, Palmer & Dodge LLP, Kirkpatrick & Lockhart LLP, and Greenberg Traurig.

Carol@CarolKauffman.com